Social Intelligence

Social Intelligence by Daniel Goleman is the latest book I have had the pleasure to read. I came across this interesting "ouvrage" while trying to know more about Emotional Intelligence, in fact Daniel Goleman published a book entitled "Emotional Intelligence"in 1995, followed by "Working with Emotional Intelligence" in 1998.

At first I was motivated by understanding the forces and rules governing the unspoken relationship between people, especially in a business context , at work and with clients. I was amazed to learn how our bodies were able to send loads of messages to other people, without saying a word, I knew that we all have a tendency to have a first judgment toward a person as soon as we met or see her. Those judgments are in majority the reflection of our culture and perception of the world, this is why it can never hold absolute truth since culture is related to social environment, time and personal history, hence limited. What I did not know is the power of emotions and how they vehicle so much and can speak by themselves, I now understand better what Charisma means, or how I sometimes have positive feelings toward a person without exchanging a word. I came to another conviction, we know very few about how powerful a brain is. I also understand know how some people are able to sale about anything with limited efforts or at least what seems to me as limited. The biology of the Brian has a fundamental role . One may say " Of course it does ", yes, but by try to understand more about how it works.

In this book Goleman reveals that the latest findings in biology and brain science, as per his writing it all boils down to one fact "we are wired to connect." In other words our daily relationships and interactions with people impact and shape every aspect of our minds and bodies. Goleman uncovers what he calls the "neural ballet" which by we dance with others signals , this ballet shows that we are in fact designed for sociability.

Good relationships are similar to vitamins and bad one can destroy a person.The interesting thing as per Goleman is that emotions are contagious, being with an optimistic person impacts our biological systems from the heart to our immune cells positively.

We are designed to have a natural affinity for empathy, cooperation, and altruism and can nurture these life-enriching capacities in ourselves and others. Yet this is far to be the reality, we live in our own private worlds of iPods, Walkmans, Internet and cell phones, Goleman qualify this social corrosion as "technocreep,"

Within the science of human relationships framework, Goleman covers such subjects as the social intelligence in infants and spindle cells in the brain; the importance of resilience in children who are able to amazingly cope with stress and challenges; the neuroanatomy of a smile; our capacity for "mind sight"; the dark side of social intelligence (narcissism to psychopathy); the healthy consequences of being a people person; and the value in the workplace of socially conscious leaders.

One the chapter I very much liked "From Them To Us." A chapter full of suggestions for bridging the gap when empathy is extinguished and altruistic impulses are closed off. Goleman concludes that positive things can happen in a world where the social brain acts as "a built in guidance system for charity, good works, and compassionate acts." In other words, our world can change for all of us, if we consciously and pro actively choose to be a better social being.